What do you think of these quikies?

Quickies (don't get to excited about this one, it's not what you

think!)

One day, Jay Dini came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a

Very sexy nightie.

Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."

So he tied her up and went fishing.

Quickie #2

A woman came home, screeching! her car into the driveway, and ran

into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her

lungs,

"Honey, pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!"

The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or

mountain stuff?"

"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out."

Quickie #3

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and

The other is a husband.

Quickie #4

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.

First, of course, he had to take an eyesight test. The optician showed

him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

"Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

Quickie #5

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I

must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the

convent."

"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of

chardonnay."

Quickie #6

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!

You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM

NOW!

We

Need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?

They're going to STICK!

Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when

you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have

you

LOST your mind?

Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them.

Use the salt.

USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!"

The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You

Think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like

When I'm driving."

Quickie #7

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was

drafted by the Army.

On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That

afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.

On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That

Afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.

On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has

Been looking for Herman for 51 years.

What do you think of these quikies?

funniest jokes on here for ages. Cheers

What do you think of these quikies?

omg!! those are really funny.

i actually laughed at them. lol

i love the last and 6th one

What do you think of these quikies?

4%26amp;5 are my fav.