Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you

%26gt; Quickie #1

%26gt; One day, Jay Dini came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a

%26gt;very sexy nightie.

%26gt; "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."

%26gt; So he tied her up and went fishing.

%26gt; Quickie #2

%26gt;

%26gt; A woman came home, screeching! her car into the driveway, and ran

%26gt;into the house.

%26gt; She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey,

%26gt;pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!"

%26gt; The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or

%26gt;mountain stuff?"

%26gt; "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out."

%26gt;

%26gt; Quickie #3

%26gt;

%26gt; Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and

%26gt;the other is a husband.

%26gt;

%26gt; Quickie #4

%26gt;

%26gt; A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.

%26gt; First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.

%26gt; The optician showed him a card with the letters:

%26gt; 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

%26gt; "Can you read this?" the optician asked.

%26gt; "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

%26gt;

%26gt; Quickie #5

%26gt;

%26gt; Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I

%26gt;must tell you all

%26gt; something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."

%26gt; "Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of

%26gt;chardonnay."

%26gt;

%26gt; Quickie #6

%26gt;

%26gt; A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

%26gt;Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

%26gt; "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!

%26gt;You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We

%26gt;need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're

%26gt;going to STICK!

%26gt; Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when

%26gt;you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST

%26gt;your mind?

%26gt; Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them.

%26gt;Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!"

%26gt; The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You

%26gt;think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

%26gt; The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like

%26gt;when I'm driving."

%26gt;

%26gt; Quickie #7

%26gt;

%26gt; Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North

%26gt; Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army.

%26gt; On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb.

%26gt; That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.

%26gt; On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush.

%26gt; That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.

%26gt; On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap.

%26gt; The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

Pretty good BassCatcher you gave me a laugh I had a bad day today I appreciate it .

Thank You .

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

Hoohoohoohoohoohoo!

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

dumb

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

hahahahahaha very funny i like them

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

bol !(burst out laughing) thx for sharing...cheers^^

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

ummmmmmmmmmm, im not laughing!

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

Yep, I laughed! good ones

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

heh heh. :)

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

funny, funny, funny

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

The last one made up for the ones before it . lol very funny

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

Hilarious! Good job!

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

lol

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

lol nice clean jokes

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

Those are hilarious! Where did you get them? I want more!

P.S. I'm easily amused.

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

funny..

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

They were cute the first time I heard them.... though I have to admit there are two that tickled my fancy tonight

# 6 .. I won't tell my hubbie this one... he might use it on me!

and # 7 always makes me laugh..

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

i like 2,3,4,6,%26amp; 7!!!!

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

Heard them all before, but always worth a chuckle.=)

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

that was funny i have one for you

-knock knock

-who's there?

-hatch who

-bless you!

ha ha lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

Those are funny

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

hehahaha

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

1, 2, 4, 6, and 7 are Great!! 7 was the best!!!

here's one I heard the other day:

What do you call a midget with 40lb balls?

Half nuts=)

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

haha... thats funny

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

lol, those are great! I really liked #3.Can't wait to tell my husband. In a way, I already have, lol! (I tell him I'm always right, whether I am or not)

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

Yep yep Yep yep. I'm inclined to laugh at those.

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

HAHAHAHAHEEHEEHEEEHIIIIIIIIIHHHOOOOOHHHH... I FELL N MY KEYBOARD!!!!!!!!!!!!LOL

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

awesome

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

nice i`m gona use some of them

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

I like 1,3,6 %26amp;7. 7 is the best(I think I would leave too)

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

Those where pretty good! The last 2 was the best of them all I thought. Thanks for the laugh.

Anyone up for a Quickie? Watch out! these are old but i'm going to make you laugh! What do you think?

You said they were old. I've never heard any of them! Very funny!!!